Bananas: the New Black

What I'm Listening to: I'm so Tired (The Beatles, The Beatles)
Mood: Merely a teensy dip in an average day

So today we have an interesting conundrum.... not really i just enjoy that word. Gas prices are down to $2.60, and while that is generally considered high, it's not as high as you might think compared to the 80's. Most important though is that I have began snackage upon a new snack: bananas. Say what you want about the tragically phallic nature of this delicious fruit (no gay jokes or puns intended... really), but theyre fackin addictive as a mother. Eat one and you MUST eat another. I haven't had one banana in maybe a year. Once again, please, no jokes about "HAH you're an ugly gay guy!" Okay I give up this is too ripe for entertainment

Well, I have decided to start a movement: Interns Against Malicious Guises And Yearnings, or, NAMBLA. I won't participate, but I'm sure that famous former interns like Pat Robertson and the guy from Simple Plan would love to spearhead the effort... okay that one was a joke

RANDOM FACT:
First person to use a 16 track tape? Frank Zappa
Biggest concert draw for Brazil ever? Alice Cooper
Fattest sex icon ever? YOUR MOM (no joke intended, if you catch my drift wink wink nudge nudge... this was pure inane crap)

Edited

What I'm Listening to: the annoying sound effects of "Zelda: the Four Swords" or whatever from my brother's gamecube
What I'm Wearing: UT Shirt... don't talk about the game
Mood: I've had better, but so does everyone, so I'm good I guess O_o

It's been awhile since I've blogged, so I'll make this short and sweet. I've been reading a lot lately. Deep stuff... webcomics about urine jokes and murder mostly. I feel more enlightened every day.

Anyway this is actually a draft i saved a while ago but never got around to actually doing shit with... so yeah. I can't say what I woulda said... yeah
BYE

AGASSI #1!!!!@$%@#%WRGUHWRO!@$@

Andre has been voted the #1 most popular tennis player with 31% of the vote in a poll done by Time. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

mmk so this post was imcomplete, ill add some great quotes for your enjoyment:

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
-Algernon from The Importance of Being Earnest

Of course the music is a great difficulty. You see, if one plays good music, people don't listen, and if one plays bad music people don't talk.

Algernon, Act I

Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can’t get into it do that.
Lady Bracknell, Act III

more later i suppose

i apologize to those who know who they are

The Importance of Peeing Ernest

Twice, in separate times in separate continents by sheer coincidence, there lived a boy who possessed teh uncanny ability to shrink himself to any size desired and grow himself back instantaneously. Oh, and the boy's name was Ernest. Ernest B. Yoo. You might imagine that this strapping young lad, who was born into a relatively dipshitted family, would be able to use his gifts to limit his hunger, evade danger, and lead to a new age in science. He, however, preferred using it to sneak into bras. One day he stumbled upon a monstrous one, he licked his pervy, gifted lips with joy at the mere sight and stench of it. He shrank to the size of a flea and situated himself carefully inside it. Upon a woman entering, however, he proceeded to lose his lunch, in addition to the gum in his mouth and the AIDS medication he had taken. Yes, Ernest has AIDS, I told you he was a pervy kid. AIDS is a pandemic, and I would like to bring your attention to the main cause of this major crisis to health. Specifically, mass orgies. So kids, remember, orgy = DOOM. So I shall introduce the term: "Death Orgies Shouldn't Hurt Innocent Teens," or "NAMBLA" (Daily Show, how I love thee). Okay so Ernest is there in this bra puking cuz hes stuck there and the lady about to put it on... is his sister. She's not even a hot sister, and Ernest isn't white trash, so don't get any funny idears. He's stuck there, and when she puts it on, he's still puking and has to swallow it to avoid detection and dies. THE END

Yeah funky it happened twice

What I'm Listening to: (Anesthesia)--Pulling Teeth
Mood: Freakay, happy that I have another person on the "not going to act nice to my face and talk bad about me behind my back" list (short list), funkay (taken from the Poobah story, aks Emily M, my gf, or Katherine L about it), and also sad, but just for the purpose of songwriting don't read into it. HEY, just cuz I suck doesn't mean I can't write to try!! Paul wrote "When I'm Sixty-Four" at age 15!!!!!

So I was pwning these n00bs on Dust2...

Time magazine... what have you done? I know it's been this way for a while but this one in particular hit home. Ads on the fucking cover. It pisses me off. I have to rip it off. Don't ask why. But seriously... I knew it was coming, I knew that this horrible day was inevitable... I mean, it was only a matter of Time *tiddy boom*

Speaking of which, it's time for a new segment I'd like to call "pun police" woooo wooooo
NOTE: THESE ARE ALL REAL, I DIDN'T MAKE THEM UP! THEY'RE EITHER TOLD BY TEACHERS OR FROM TV

(after a racecar driver crashes into a beehive and gets stung like 50,000 times)
"Now he knows the sting of defeat!"

This is from South Park
"My name is Ms. Chokesondick"
"More like 'Ms. Makesmesick!'"

yeah this is bad for my brain im callin it quits here

Now for "Great Moments of ADD"
Actually I'm hungry ill finish it tomorrow prolly

The Ballad of a Maniacal Aussie

What I'm Listening to: Anesthesia (Pulling Teeth)
Mood: Trippy, In Shock and Awe, WTF, Giddy in a peculiar way, NOT HOMESICK!! W00t!!

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Well... not only is Andre gone for good, but STEVE IRWIN IS DEAD!! OMG!! Wow. Sting ray to the chest... ouch. What a way to go. Well, nobody expected him to die in a hospital bed of lung failure. Better to die doing what you love (for him, borderline suicidal behavoir) than to die bored and unloved... like me O_O. Apparently, before his gruesome demise, he acutally PULLED THE BARBED STINGER OUT OF HIS HEART!!!! Once again.... wow.

Nah jk, but still I am starting to have a mid-1/4 life crisis. I have noticed a receding hairline (upon cutting it) and a startling amount of times I've commented on younger siblings "sprouting like weeds." I feel like a geezer and I'm not even halfway through our education system. I'm going to be one miserable-ass forty year old. Seriously... this is a bad omen. Omens in general are bad, very seldom do good omens come true unless they later prove to be false and it was all just to make you happy then rip you down in a furious rage of being po'ed and asswipeyness!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PRIMAL ROAR

Labor Day is here officially. I couldn't care less cept it will be a great day and I will have much better things to do than school....

L(A?)O: SVU

and shit

later bitches

TECHNORATI RANKING

What I'm Listening to: Mitch Hedberg
What I'm Wearing (I brought it back): UT Shirt and swimsuit
GUESS WHAT?!?!?! I JUST GOT THE LATEST RANKING FOR MY BLOG ON TECHNORATI!!! I'M 1,538,539!!! w00t
actually I suck... oh well

YOUR SUPPORT IS NEEDED!!!!! AHHHHHH

So I just got back in town... the radio is my new best friend. If not for that I would have died on the 8-9.5 hour trip. They played some latter-day Metallica, and I gotta say, IT SUCKED ASS. Maybe 4 riffs for the whole song, and the drums sounded like utter crap. Honestly.

I miss Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets. Hell, even The Black Album is great by comparison!!!! Just goes to show you, once you're famous, even if you produce crap, it'll sell like hotcakes... hotcakes of crap.

This week I'll be trying out for a play... wish me luck. Someday I could be a famous actor. That'd be nice. Fame and fortune is always a plus. Then again I could be a shitty actor with no life and a sleazy apartment and borrowing money from my mom. Meh, fame and fortune is worth it

Post In Progress!!!

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I will be switching thanks to an article read in Wired magazine (i love that mag...)
this stlil has plenty and links to the rest

So anyway... I have compiled a list of favorite magazines as well.

Wired
Maximum PC
PCWorld Magazine
Guitar World
Playboy (jk)
Mormon's Monthly (jk again...)
Seventeen (not jk ;D )

Anyway, LATA BITCHES